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Greatest sports entertainer
Never, ever, ever, EVER let children run wild with sharpies loose in… 
20th-May-2005 06:55 am
The Rock

Never, ever, ever, EVER let children run wild with sharpies loose in their hands. Although the little rugrats may think they're the next Michael Angelo or Vincent Van Gogh, they are indeed the next lot of pain in the asses. The great one had the grave misfortune of having the family 'round for a good ol' get together, and to The Great One's horror, when he walked up the stairs he found squiggles and blobs of black, red and blue marks all over the wall.

Oh, you see now, that was just the beginning of it. 

When The Rock went to his bedroom to change the shirt after some goof spilt their drink on it, The Great One found his entire room had confetti, balloons and banners saying 'Rock'n'Sock Connection reunion' everywhere. Now, The Great One's all for reunions - in fact, there's nothing The Rock likes doing more than rubbing it in his old school friends faces that he's a success and they're all scraping cash together just to be able to afford a happy meal every few days. But this time that schizophrenia maniac with the gym sock love went too damn far!! The next thing The Great One knew, he had camera's flashing in his eyes from all angles that it blinded The Great One and he fell backwards through a table. Of course, all you jabronis would think that that'd be the low point of The Great One's day, huh? Having to sit there for an entire hour at a tea party (YES, a tea party) with Mick Foley and his sock puppet as he nattered on and on about the "good ol' days" but the worst was yet to come.

Finally, The Rock managed to drag (and the great one litterally means drag) Mick out and smarten himself up, he had to come downstairs to find himself staring at his reflection in that shiny bald dome of Steve Austin's head. Yes. That rattlesnake, beer swelling, psychotic, ATV loving, Chub adoring freak decided to gatecrash The Rock's get together because he heard the word "beer" mentioned. That hillbilly has a nose of a blood hound - he can sniff out beer anywhere. The Great One would've whooped that rattle-shit's ass had it not been for the fact that the great one saw that fat slob's dog about to take a whizz right up against the life size Rock cut out.

That was the last straw. So The Rock grabbed that fat old mut by the collar, and dragged it's smelly ass right out front. The Rock then tied the mut to the ATV blocking The Great One's extremely flashy and extremely expensive car, turned around and walked smack bam into Austin's dome head! Had it not been for Mick popping up from nowhere and chasing Austin with his sock puppet for something called the "French Tickler" we would've had to, as Austin says it, "Unleash hell."

The Rock's extremely tired after being forced to stay up all night and clean the walls of the markers - I did try and convince her to just move houses but she said that was crazy and stupid. The Great One thinks she's crazy and stupid for making The Rock wear HER pink apron, with HER pink gloves and make The Great One scrub the walls) and is now going to have some pie.

Comments 
24th-May-2005 10:16 am (UTC)
Don't lie you sorry sum bitch! You invited Stone Cold!!... I have proof! *pulls out horrendously crumpled and partially shredded piece of paper and waves it in your general direction* This is the invite!! *looks at paper, squinting in his attempt at deciphering the scribbles on it* No, no wait, Stone Cold's mistake.. this is a receipt for a hamburger I got... three years ago. *blinks* *shrugs and sticks paper back in his pocket*

Well... you shouldn't start flapping your gums at Stone Cold, telling him about your stupid "Rock appreciation day" then mention beer and expect Stone Cold NOT to take it as an invitation.

Listen hear ya big pansy, don't ever touch Chub again!! Or I'll let him do a lot more than piss on your little narcissistic shrine. Oh don't try to tell me that it was just a life size cut out.. I seen the rest of your collection.. all that Rock memorabilia!! *eyes you* You self-obsessed grapefruit.

*shoves a gagged and tied up Mick Foley at you* And can take him back home with ya!! I don't want the sick bastard waving that mutant he likes to call a sock in my direction anymore!!
7th-Jul-2005 05:37 am (UTC)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Whoa! Are you telling the great one that you dragged your sorry fat ass out of the snake shit pit and got a hamburger without the Rock! Worst yet, are you mistaking the great one’s $200 invites as shredded, crumpled, recycled pieces of crap!!

The Rock weren’t “flapping his gums” to you! No, no! The Rock was talking to the jabroni behind you in charge of catering, the Rock wanted some food at his celebration and the great one didn’t want to get his extremely expensive manicure ruined by preparing the food himself!! It’s not the great one’s fault if you have no life and have to eavesdrop on other people’s extremely loud conversations.

*Raises expensive shades up and eyes you the exact same way* Well excuse the Rock if he takes pride in all of his accomplishments and all his collectables that sell faster than a half price donut sale during a police break! The Rock takes great pride in all of his collectables and just wanted to show case it off. And listen here you red neck Yankee, sometimes it takes a little self-obsessive nature to look this damn good and be as great as this!

*Shoves Mick back towards you* No way jabroni! The Rock’s had enough Rock’n’Sock to last him a lifetime! You have him! Start a Sock Pit or something with him, the great one’s not babysitting that gap teeth freak anymore! Nu-uh! No way! *Folds arms as a way of finalizing it*
13th-Jul-2005 09:12 pm (UTC)
*blinks* What? Without you? *blinks again* It was three years ago!!

Listen here, son, you mentioned beer to Stone Cold, you told him where and when this beer was going to be dished out. Telling Stone Cold such information was an invite in itself!!

*looks almost horrified that you'd say such a thing* Stone Cold doesn't eavesdrop on conversations... He interrupts them!!

*burps* I could use a donut right about now.... *is about to hop into his truck and just drive away to get himself some donuts when Mick Foley lands at his feet* Hey, you sorry sum bitch I aint keeping him!! He's your friend, you have him!! *nudges Foley with his foot and sends him rolling back towards you*

*pauses* Wait.. wait... Stone Cold's got an idea... you stick that sorry deformed eared freak into the back of my truck and I'll drop him off at the side of the motorway!! Some stupid bastard is bound to pick him up....
14th-Aug-2005 10:10 am (UTC)
The Rock doesn’t care how long ago it was!! It could have been three weeks ago, three days ago, three hours ago or hell, even three decades ago!! The fact of the matter remains, you went to get a burger without the great one. What kind of lowlife goes to get food without inviting the most electrifying man in all of sports entertainment, huh? That’s it, Stone Cold Selfish Asshole, the next time the great one’s wining and dining he isn’t going to be inviting you along! And don’t be giving the great one that look. *Points finger at you* Don’t even look at the great one without his permission!

Son? Don’t be talking to the Rock like he’s your friend or likes you. The Rock isn’t your friend! The Rock doesn’t socialize with drunken, bald headed domes like yourself! And fine, the great one did make the stupidest mistake of talking about beer in front of you. But there was absolutely no need to bring your own keg to fill up with beer for when you left! Buy your own damn beer.

*is disgusted* Did you just burp in the presence of the great one? Have you know moral manners at all? *Thinks about how ridiculous that just sounded* My bad, manners and stone cold never run in the same sentence unless there is a ‘does not’ somewhere in the middle of it.

*Thinks about the idea* No, no, no. That won’t do at all. We don’t actually want anyone to pick him and have them possibly bring him back to either of us two. The Rock has an idea, we dump him on your truck, drive all the way into the middle of nowhere and dump him on that big red maniac’s porch, aka Kane’s. Kane’ll dispose of him. Either that of the squirrels will chew Foley free and release him into the wild...
28th-Aug-2005 07:35 pm (UTC)
ROCK! Taker is Proud. your movie carrer is going Great. but you need to return to the WWE! *lighting Strikes*
1st-Oct-2005 12:38 am (UTC)
*raises eyebrow*

You damn skippy the great one’s movie career is going great. Of course it’s going great! The Rock is destined only for greatness, nothing less. Hence the title: The Great One.

Return? Return to that sesspool? Let the great one get this straight: you want the Rock to give up a skyrocketing movie career, that rakes in more money than you can count with fingers, in return he’s to come back to Raw and achieve greatness he’s already achieved?

Why in the name of all that is sane would the great one do that?
5th-Oct-2005 02:28 pm (UTC)
because as much as i don't like talking to people this has been bothering me the people miss you. i the dead man admit rock the PEOPLE miss you. i'm not all about the people but hey my brother asked me to ask you
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